The attempted weekend

We tried to go to the Red Sox game on Friday night, but it was pouring outside. Raining cats and dogs (and cows and sheep and even the occasional wombat) such that I officially ceased to care whether our boys in red beat the team from Texas. In lieu of the game, we went to a sports bar for dinner and sat by a table of TWELVE kids, all under age nine. They were pretty adorable, I must say...especially one little girl, who sat there staring at the flat screen TV, picking her nose, and eating it. I'm not sure why, but that absolutely cracked me up. Made me wonder what food group her nose nutrition falls into? (It's kind of like the portabello mushroom question, right?)

We also tried to buy a car. Really tried. But after a weekend spent shopping for hybrid cars, I now understand Goldilocks's dilemma. Everything we looked at was great, but yet not quite right: too big, too small, too expensive, to complicated. We had a brief moment of glee and excitement when we sat in the hybrid Camry, but then we popped the trunk--yikes! I have purses that hold more. Let's just say there's no chance of mobsters hiding bodies in the trunk of a hybrid Camry. (I bet Toyota could build a commercial around that...)

Right now, I'm trying to pack for this week's trip to Grand Rapids/New York City. There's an open (empty) suitcase near my bed, and clothes that should probably be in there sprawled from one end of our condo (where the washing machine lives) to the other (where I hung some things in the shower, hoping the wrinkles would magically disappear). Here's my big dilemma, though: what to READ on the plane. On two of recent trips, my luggage was at or over the weight limit, and hardcover books were a prime culprit (because really, how heavy can a pair of cute heels be?) So for this trip, I'm deciding between paperbacks: Anita Shreve's LIGHT ON SNOW, Jen Lancaster's SUCH A PRETTY FAT, and Chris Lowney's HEROIC LEADERSHIP.

Important decisions, no? I'm consoling myself with the fact that should I need more choices, chances are I'll be able to find a bookstore somewhere in my travels :)

Kermit was right...it's not easy

We're looking at hybrid cars. I'd love to say it's because I'm a devout lover of the environment who longs to wrap my arms around our planet and give it a great big hug...but that would be a bit of a fib. We're looking at hybrids because our current car is a giant, gas-guzzling sedan and we're not sure how long we can keep him in the style to which he's become accustomed.

We bought Xavier George (Steve named him from model number, XG350) a few years ago. Admittedly, we weren't exactly savvy shoppers--my mom was in the hospital (she's fine now, I'm happy to say) and we weren't sure when I'd need to drive up to Maine on short notice, or what exactly I'd be driving to. The car we had was too unreliable for emergency times, so we headed out to find a new one.

We were both so distracted by everything going on with my family that we narrowed our "must have" list down to two things:
1. A trunk big enough to fit Steve's gigantic goalie pads for the days he plays hockey; and
2. A tan interior, so THAT DOG'S fur wouldn't show too badly during spring when she sheds.

Needless to say, we stumped the sales guys. I mean, who buys a car based on trunk size and matching the interior to their dog??? Still though, we could have done worse. Xavier George has been a fabulous auto, right up until the cost of filling his tank came to equal the cost of sending him to college.

So the hybrid search begins, and I have to ask: do any of you drive hybrids? Do you like them? I rode in a Prius cab from the airport the other day, and on Boston's crazy, beat up roads it felt a bit like riding a roller skate down an Olympic mogul course....

But I wonder, does it feel different when you're driving? Or would I be so distracted by all the money I was saving on gas that I'd ignore the increased chance of peril? Encourage me, oh wise blog readers! Help me be glad to be green!

Home!

I'm home! The alarm went off at 5am this morning in Chicago, and I clicked my heels together like Dorothy, hoping for some supernatural transport. It came in the form of a driver named Danny who got me to O'Hare before rush hour. Three cheers for Danny!

Now I'm eating pasta, petting THAT DOG, and planning to take a nap.

Happy Wednesday :)

UPDATE (3 hours later): Nap was great. Woke up to discover this priceless gem on Galleycat, and almost wet my pants, I laughed so hard. (My favorite part is where he asks, "Wait-my book can have it's own Facebook page? I thought that required...you know, a face?")

Live, From Studio SB

I was on TV today!!!

(Note: I had planned to blog about my flight yesterday from Boston to Chicago: Asking if any of you know why United has that bizarre 3'x5' red floor mat at each gate to "welcome" their frequent flyers; telling you about the guy in the back of the plane who fell sound asleep the minute we took off and spent three hours snoring LOUDLY, in between bouts where he stopped breathing altogether.... But if I were reading this, I'd be thinking, "ENOUGH about the snoring plane dude, Trish...tell me how someone who trips over her shoes and spills coffee everywhere she goes survived a ten minute segment on live TV???") So here you go:

Truth be told, I spent the whole morning--from the moment I woke up to the lovely chiming alarm clock at 5:30am--worrying about spilling something on myself. I had an entire emergency backup outfit waiting in the car in case had one of my unfortunate collisions with liquid, but I'm proud to report that by refusing all beverages, I made it to the set unsullied. My Aunt Debbie came with me to the show, which was great...she even knew one of the hosts. I knew I could count on her to speak up if I came out of the ladies room with lipstick on my nose, but fortunately (okay, miraculously) it never came to that.

The actual filming--what I thought would be the most stressful part--was surprisingly normal. The two hosts of The Harvest Show, Chuck and Kelly, were friendly, engaging, conversational...totally easy to chat with. They asked great questions and I think I answered them in a way that was at least coherent. And I managed to get through the entire interview without using the word "determinator," making this a personal best.

I thought the whole camera thing would be weird, but the chairs were turned towards each other so I couldn't see them at all. What I could see, though, was a giant flat-screen TV of the segment we were filming, which made me think deep, reflective thoughts such as, "Wow-I'm really pale!" Profound, and focused in the important moments. That's me.

I realized midway through the segment that my habit of looking up/down/off to the side when I think about an answer probably looked weird on TV (I noticed that Chuck and Kelly managed to keep their eyes upright, facing actual people) so I tried to correct mid-stream. But overall, it was fabulous and fun, and much more natural than I ever expected.

You can check it out here. (If you click on the link for Monday May 12, I'm the second interview, about 30 minutes into the program.)

Tuesday, I'll be reading & signing at Borders Books in Evanston, IL, which is outside Chicago. David Sedaris will be there a month from now, so this is kind of like me being his warm up band, right? Like Gwen Stefani & NoDoubt going on tour with U2???

(Sure Trish, It's just like that...)

Hope to see some of you there :)

Life Lessons

We just got back from our DC/Philadelphia tour. After hours on trains, planes, and practically every vehicle Toyota makes, I've learned a thing or two...

1. I can't drive and eat a Wendy's cheeseburger. I think I can, but I can't. Next time I decide this might be a good idea (you know, so I can get to my destination that all-important six minutes faster), I might as well just squirt whatever top I'm wearing with mustard and throw it away.

2. I shouldn't eat a cheeseburger from the Amtrak club car. I'm not sure anyone should, but it's too late to be making such sweeping generalizations. Suffice to say that from this point on, I'll take minor hunger pangs over heartburn. Not a tough choice.

3. People are worth it. I've met the most amazing folks this week. From Heidi and Megan in DC, to an anonymous blog friend I'll call "Drinks & Fiddles" I met for coffee when I first got into Philadelphia, to the incredible Paige who was part of the wonderful crowd at the fun girls' night event last night (not to mention my newest blog friend, JP), all the travel and bad cheeseburgers and hours of driving were totally, TOTALLY worth it.

I'm too exhausted to describe it with any sort of clarity, but I'm extra grateful for all of you I'm meeting on this tour. Who knew a frog could lead to such great friends?

Good night, all. Sweet dreams :)

Lost & Found, VA edition

Yesterday, I learned that I should never, ever (really-under ANY circumstances) rent a car without saying "Yes please!" to the nice man at the rental counter when he asks if I'd like a GPS. Even when I'll be in a city I've been to before. Even when it's a place I used to live.

We spent most of yesterday lost in Northern Virginia, which isn't all that hard to do, given that so much of this area is newly developed and looks pretty much the same. But the special and unique part of our getting lost was that we somehow wandered so far past where we were headed (I kept saying, "I think it's just a bit further, up here on the right...") that we ended up IN THE WOODS. On a DIRT road. Passing abandoned farms that look like movie sets for some horror flick. Not good.

When we finally found our way back to civilization, we abandoned all our plans for errands and other useful endeavors and headed directly to our friends Gavin & Emily's house so we could pat their puppy. This is Soren. Can you see why some quality time with him makes life much better?

He's only eleven weeks old, but there is every indication that he'll grow up to be a very fine THAT DOG in his own right. Which you all know is high praise :)

Yesterday's other redeeming feature was last night's book signing. I'll admit, it was a little (okay, a lot) humbling: It was my first time as an author to come up over the stairs to the area where I'd be reading to see...two people. Every author knows this day is coming, the day you'll be reading to some random guy browsing the Science Fiction section next to the podium and giving directions to the bathroom. And yet you hope against hope it never will.

Steve was there, as well as Gavin & Emily. So when you add in lovely Anna, the Borders employee, we had seven of us all together. Rather than pretend that it was normal to read aloud into a microphone for an audience of seven, I asked everyone to introduce themselves so that at the very least, we'd all be friends.

This is how I met Megan, who should be paid by every bookstore in the greater DC area to attend author events. She asked the BEST questions...I wish I'd recorded it. It was like a dream, chatting with her about writing, dating, sorting out life. Megan is new to the blog world, so if you're reading this today Megan...Welcome! And thank you :)

AND THEN, my next audience member introduced herself, and it was HEIDI!!!

Now, I get rather excited to meet blog friends...I almost couldn't do the reading, because all I wanted to do was sneak off to a corner and chat. If there'd been a restaurant next door, I would have suggested we all move there and order chocolate martinis :) Heidi took approximately 14 forms of public transportation to get to the reading, which absolutely makes her my hero. And she explained blogging to Megan in a better way than I ever could have, which made the whole event like a little party where everyone kicked in something to the conversation.

SO, all that to say...it was one of those lemon-ish days that turned out to be filled with lemonade. Thank you Steve, Gavin, Emily, Soren, Anna, Megan, and HEIDI! I'm a grateful girl.

Next stop: Philadelphia!

Dog in Maine, Frog on Tour

I just left THAT DOG in Maine, placing her care in the capable (albeit sticky) hands of my niece and nephew, dog-sitters extraordinaire. Steve and I will be traveling this week, taking the frog book on tour in Washington DC and Philadelphia. And while THAT DOG is a Philly native who has friends in dog parks across our nation's capital, the idea of squishing her into the cargo hold of a plane is more than I can bare (bear? How can I not know how to spell that???)

Anyway, I'm terrible at leaving her. I imagine her sulking off in a corner, spending every moment pining for us and wondering why we abandoned her. The truth? I suspect that at this very moment she's following a small child across the living room, hoping a cookie will crumble. She'll have a happy week of scarfing down wayward goldfish crackers and scraps of PBJ's. I think she'll be okay :)

Here are some pics from the two signings this weekend. How do I love bookstores? Let me count the ways...First, the amazing display created by the Harvard Coop:



And me signing a book for my Dad at the Borders in South Portland, Maine.

This was a funny moment. You see, I gave my parents a copy (if you've read the book, you know that they've earned it...) But being the awesome, supportive Dad that he is, he bought another copy. He had me to sign it "To Whom It May Concern," because he can't imagine which of his fishing buddies--he's a retired lobsterman--he's going to give a book about how his daughter sorted out her love life. Can you imagine that conversation??? Makes me laugh, just thinking about it...

Here's the incredible Borders staff: Stephanie, Craig and Shanna. I ADORE them. If you're ever in Maine, stop by and say hello--they're fun folks to know :)


Next stop: Borders in Bailey's Crossroads, VA-- Tuesday night @ 7:30.

Flyin' the (Harvard) COOP

I'll be reading/chatting/signing my book at the Harvard Coop Bookstore tonight at 7pm!

This feels like a bit of a full-circle moment, as the Coop was one of the places I came to all the time when I first moved to Cambridge, when I was sorting out the scraps of my life and not sure what to do with the long hours of every day. I didn't have job, or a plan. But I had THAT DOG, and enough money to buy a small cup of coffee.

At least three times a week, THAT DOG and I would walk to Harvard Square to "fly the Coop," as I jokingly called it (when you're alone a lot, it's amazing how funny you think your own little sayings are...) THAT DOG would prance in like she owned the place, head held high, ignoring the outreached hands of small toddlers who squeeled, "doggie! doggie! doggie!" as we passed by. We'd head up the spiral staircase, around past all the rows of novels I longed to read, and up to the third floor. In those days, even THAT DOG knew that the self-help section was where I needed to be...she waited patiently for hours as the two of us sat in the window seat overlooking the square, me searching for answers, her keeping an eye on the action down below.

Tonight, I'll be up on the third floor of The Coop again, talking about the answers I finally found. I won't have THAT DOG with me (partly because she steals focus, but mostly because I'm afraid someone will feed her one of the Hersey's Kisses I'll be passing out and she'll leave something unfortunate on the carpet) but still, it will feel like a homecoming, in a bookstore I love.

If you're a Cambridge/Boston-area blogger, come on by!

Party Pics!

We had a party last night! After all, when a new frog hops out into the world covered in lip gloss, what can you do but celebrate? My sister Meg and I spent two days scouring greater Boston for everything we thought we'd need...buying everything from plates to ice to votive candles (because what kind of evening would it be if you ran out of votive candles?) as if we were hosting the summer Olympics. Not such efficient party planners are we. But what we lack in common sense, we make up for in sheer enthusiasm. Here are a few pics:

First, the incredible cake my friend Laura made...can you believe it? That's her, slicing into the masterpiece:


This is me telling the story about the guy who came out of the closet on our first date:

...and this is Steve's family laughing at me:



George from the Harvard Coop Bookstore, selling lots of books:


Which I then signed, until my already tough-to-read signature morphed to something that looked like "T4foh Ry9g--th6#kz f4 cob4ng!" (And check out Steve off to the left in the green shirt...one of our friends asked him to sign his book, given that he's the hero of the story :) )


This is my incredible sister:


and my amazing friends who dressed like waitstaff and handed around hors d'oerves made by Rob the culinary genius, who managed to evade the camera:


and Christopher Greco, who played his song Here and Now, which I describe in the book. This was the one moment in the evening when I came dangerously close to the ugly cry...Meg treked clear across from the other side of the room to bring me Kleenex:



and of course, my handsome hubby, helping me thank our family & friends:


It was a great, fun evening...enough to make every second of writerly angst totally worth it :)

A Frog is Born!

I couldn't sleep last night. Too excited...too awed...too worried about whether or not it's okay to wear jeans to one's book launch party (they're pretty jeans, and I'll wear them with elegant, peep-toed shoes--does that make a difference?)

And now morning is finally here and I can say the words I've been longing to write since I drafted my first essay back in high school: My book comes out today! I know that this not news to most of you, my awesome blog friends who have been hanging out with me through this whole process--getting a contract, writing/re-writing/re-re-writing/trying to keep the whole story in the same tense, discovering that my cover would have a giant bullfrog and glossy red lips on the front...it's been a crazy two years filled with all sorts of unexpected fun, and I'm so grateful for you guys who have shared this trip with me--thank you!

Here are three ways you can take part in today's celebration, if you're in a partying kind of mood:

1. Get the book! As I understand it, first week sales are super-important, so a huge thank you in advance to all of you who invest (or have invested) your hard-earned money in my story!

2. Win the book! Head over to Manic Mom's blog and leave a comment about your first (or worst) kiss...we'll be sending a signed hardcover copy to the best smoochie tale!

3. Name the book! Last night when I wasn't sleeping, I realized that THAT FROG needs a name! So I thought we'd make today NAME THAT FROG day!

What does he look like to you? (Wilbur comes to mind...or perhaps Percival???)

Quality Time

My sister is coming to visit today! There will be shopping! There will be chocolate martinis! There will be embarrassing scenes at Target when we both hear a favorite Bee Gees tune blast over the sounds system and break into moves from Saturday Night Fever!

And after it's all over, we'll both leave the state for awhile to let things cool down :)

I'm off to the train station...in the meantime, if you've seen the subtitle of my book (specifically where it mentions "faith" in between "finding" and "happily ever after") and wondered if that might be more than you want to sign up for, check out Nilsa's thoughtful review here.

Tomorrow, remind me to tell you about my first big speaking experience, and how what I said is now a podcast....and how listening to it made me realize that there's no such word as "determinator," no matter how much I might wish it so...

Big Weekend, Tired Monday :)

Hi All! I'm happy to report that THAT DOG is doing much better. She had a seizure, which has happened before, but now she's okay. Have you noticed that everything is more scary when it happens at 4am? Anyway, she's back to full wiggly happiness now, so thank so much for your encouragement and prayers.

It was a crazy weekend, here in the Frog Tour zone! On Saturday, I was at the amazing Grub Street Writers Conference, The Muse and The Marketplace. What an elegant, fun gathering of folks who love writing. Per usual, I made a bit of a spectacle of myself: I walked into the room they had set aside for presenters to prepare our talks, and sat down at a table with another woman. "Hi, I'm Trish Ryan," I said, extending a hand. "Hi Trish," the woman responded, "I'm Anita Shreve."

I gawked. I stared. It was one of those moments you dearly hope you'll handle with grace and composure, and I blew it completely, blathering like a star-struck groupie at Rolling Stones concert. Still though, she was gracious and lovely and gave me great tips about going on a book tour. ("Zicam," she said. "You'll want to get some Zicam.")

After I pestered her to sign a book (I am SO set for Mother's Day) and she went off to greet her adoring fans, I gathered my thoughts for my own presentation. The official title was, "Memoir: Behind the Scenes," but what we really talked about was "How not to get sued when you're writing about your ex boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse."

After that, it was off to the airport to catch a flight to Ithaca, NY. My newest travel tip? Don't ever schedule a flight where the word "Dash" is the name of the aircraft. Imagine being air born in a Prius, only without the good feeling of knowing you're helping the environment (and with the terrible feeling that you might soon be PART of the environment in whole new way...)

Still though, it was worth it. I got to give the talk at the Vineyard Church of Ithaca, which was great, especially since when I walked in, the first thing I heard was two guys talking about the Red Sox and the Celtics...really, what could make a New Englander feel more at home in New York??? And what an amazing place to see spring finally bloom...now I understand those t-shirts that say "Ithaca: It's Gorges."

And finally, I came home to this amazing blog post by Larramie. It's like that old show, THIS IS YOUR LIFE! for my Frog Book.

I'm tired, my throat is achey and sore from so many fun conversations, and THAT DOG wants to go for a run in the rain...still, it's a great day here in Trishville :)