We switched gyms. Our old fitness center (the one that featured Paula Deen's nutritional wisdom on the tv in the cardio room) wanted twelve gazillion dollars for us to renew, so we decided to forgo the fancy "club" with the spa we never used and the restaurant we never ate at, and jog ourselves over to "Joe's Gym," which charges something like thirty-nine cents a month.
Working out at Joe's Gym is rather like landing in an NFL retirement home--it's a giant open room filled with every type of old-school weight equipment imaginable, all being hefted and pushed and swung around by men who have no visible indent between their ears and their shoulders. Most days, I am the sole patron claiming estrogen as my dominant hormone; I've never once had to wait for the treadmill or the eliptical machine.
My favorite part about Joe's though, is the Zoomba class. I've never taken it, but wow does it make me happy. You see, the class is taught by a guy (possibly Joe?) who is somewhere in his 60s, I'd guess. Joining Joe are seven to ten other Italian men ranging in age from 40-70. Up goes the volume on the stereo, and Joe shows the boys how to shake their thang (thangs?) to remastered club tracks that range from Depeche Mode to Kool & The Gang. It's like watching Tony Soprano and his gang doing aerobics. (In my head, I call them Paulie, Silvio, and Vito).
Add to that the looming seven-foot presence of a former NBA All-Star's brother, and a guy who looks like the punching bag Mike Tyson trained on, and I feel like I'm in the six-degrees of separation hall of fame. Granted, it's the mob division, but hey, for thirty-nine cents a month, I'll take it.
I mean, how could Paula Deen compete with that?
14 comments:
congrats on your savings of $11,000,000,000,000,009.61
Heh--that gym sounds like good fodder for a writer!
i have always said those are the best gyms...and the stories you'll hear! a smell a book...
I want to go to your gym! It has character! Or did I mean to say characters!
LOL, Sarakastic!
That does sound like some gym! I bet your exercise time flies by and you don't even want to leave. Oh how I wish I could see that class...
Hey, are any of those italian men single??? I could come to a class in January...KIDDING... Seriously, Trish, finding a good reasonable gym is a good thing. My personal history of attendance is so poor that I would have no choice but to choose a very reasonable gym. Otherwise, I'd have nightmares about the big bucks I was spending on a place I never go :)
Now if they could just get Paula Deen, it would be perfect.
What a great post! Having grown up in the Great State of Massachusetts, and the whole ethnic neighborhoods deal, this completely cracked me up!
I'm going to start commuting to YOUR gym - it'll be a bit of a drive, but it sounds WORTH it.
Do you have any guest passes? I would LOVE to go just to see of all this in person. ;-) This post was HYSTERICAL. Thank you for a much-needed laugh this week!!
Ah, my nearby gym wants twelve gazillion dollars for me to join! Which explains why I dance around my living room :) Though I sure miss spinning classes!
Ewww, thanks for the mental image of those Italian men shaking their thang! Hehe..
Hahahahaha!! This is fantastic. Love it!
xox
Sounds like an essay to me... :-)
And I think you get a pass on not knowing about "Upcakes" because Dixie Picnic is new! But you can order a box online at dixiepicnic.com. Just sayin'....
Isn't it amazing how often we pay for extras that we never used? You rock. And I'm glad you enjoy your total emersion into Testosterone Land.
So will I see a totally cut & buff you in January? HMMMM????
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