I'm not so good with goodbyes. I'd forgotten this about myself. It's been a long time since I've relocated...not since I landed here in Cambridge nine years ago hoping life would somehow get better. It did! But now I'm leaving, which means goodbyes.
The reality of this hit me like a train yesterday. As most of you know, a few years back I wandered into a church where I saw my whole life turn around. Yesterday was my last Sunday as a member there, and let's just say I was unprepared.
Yikes, it was the full-on ugly cry. I have a cold which didn't help, but most of the liquid was the product of a sudden, slightly paralyzing awareness of how much this place and these people mean to me, and how much I'll miss them. I think I've watched one too many episodes of Friday Night Lights, as my mind did one of those montage flashbacks to every important and poignant moment from the past seven years, blinking them through my head one by one. By the end, it's a miracle I could breathe :)
And yet it was an amazingly happy day, in the midst of all those tears. (Maybe that's the difference when you leave to go to something, rather than just run away?) My friend Dave gave an inspiring talk about how Easter doesn't mark the end of Lent so much as the beginning of something new and altogether different, where miracles are really possible. My friends Christopher and Kristina sang songs about hope and possibility that had me up on my feet and clapping, even as I blew my nose (I'll never say I'm uncoordinated again, because this was an amazing feat of multitasking). And right in the middle, a surprise I never saw coming: My friends (and favorite band), Ryanhood climbed onstage to sing the title song from their new CD, The World Awaits.
I was dumbstruck, jaw on the floor, tears running down my face...It was like God sent Ryan and Cameron from Denver or Minneapolis or wherever their last tour stop was just to let me know that even though I'm sad to be leaving, this is absolutely the right thing to do; that Steve and I are going to something good and exciting, and we won't lose what we have here...we'll build on it.
I found this clip on YouTube that you should check out. Listen carefully to the first thing Cameron says as he introduces the song; it sums it up pretty well:
"You're in your house. You have a front door. And you have to go through it."
The World Awaits.
I just need to mop up my face first :)
10 comments:
We'll miss you guys! God bless!
Sniff sniff...I got all teary just reading this! And now I'll have to rearrange my New England trips to include Ithaca. ;o)
xox
From reading your book I totally fell in love with your church & I can see why you'll miss them.
Oh the ugly cry...I know this personally and recently. ;) I hope the rest of your good-byes are as sweet...and I look forward to hearing about your life in New York! Blessings to you friend. :)
One thing to be said for the ugly cry: it's therapeutic.
And I'm sure lots of Cambridge residents will find themselves visiting Ithaca soon. :)
I had an ugly cry in reading this post!! And...I'll just warn you that every time I go back to the Cambridge Vineyard, an ugly cry comes over me while in the middle of singing...I get to the point where I"m crying so hard that I can't sing (a multi-task I've never learned to do successfully). Ithica will be wonderful!! I've always wanted to go to the Moosewood restaurant, and now that you'll be living there, so it'll only be more of a reason to go!! :) It's amazing all of the new things I learned about myself, and that Ryan and I learned about each other in moving to a new city...it's wonderful! As the girl scout saying goes, "Make new friends, but keep the old".
Wonderful, dear, precious sister and friend, so many memories come rushing back as I read this. I remember the joy and peace that came with "advancing" into God's call on our lives several years ago. The peace that passes all understanding: there is just nothing like it!
And yet, (maybe it's post-prego hormones) I'm so emotional reading this. I hurt for you. It's such a bitter sweet time. (you were one of the one's we mourned leaving - it is so hard.)
That being said, Gavin and I are SO excited to hear more about this new chapter in your lives, as it continues to unfold.
We love you. We cherish your friendship. We are praying for abundant blessings - more than you could have asked for or imagined!
all our love,
em
Best of luck to you as you go through this huge life change. If we don't shake things up a little bit we'll stagnate, but that doesn't make the shaking up any easier at the time.
Hi Trish,
You may not remember, but we met briefly when you came to visit the Ithaca Vineyard last time.
I am a student and this is my fourth year attending the Ithaca Vineyard (which was where I allowed God to turn my life upside down) and I think I will go through a similar thing with saying goodbye when it comes time to leave. It makes me want to cry even THINKING about it! :[
I'm excited for what God has in store for us though, and looking forward meeting you again! :]
Love, Stacey
(btw I found your blog through Bob's; he linked it on one of his posts)
Oh honey - that must have been gut wrenching.
Is there something wrong with me that I left Boston almost skipping? The one thing that was hard for me to leave was that church.
Post a Comment