Friday, January 19, 2007

Today's Font Of Wisdom

I'm not usually cocky enough to make Oprah-esque pronouncements about "What I Know For Sure," but watching the latest episode of America's Next Top Chef emboldens me. Here is what I know for sure:

1. If you are challenged to cook with chocolate, don't (don't, don't, pleeeeease don't) reach for chicken livers as your other featured ingredient. Honestly, Elan's chicken liver truffle looked like something people would be forced to eat on a Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Yeeeuck.

2. If you are a woman competing against men on network television, this is probably not the time to chase your lifelong dream of shaving your head. With a few swipes of that razor, Elia took her marketability from a respectable 7 (cute girl, fabulous hair) down to a -5 (weird girl, looks like she escaped from a mental hospital). If this was Project Runway or some other show where she could balance out the baldness with fabulous clothes, it might be less awful, but those chef's coats look waaaaayyy to much like straight jackets for this to be anything but a debacle. Hasn't this girl seen that episode of Friends that warns us not to do this???

3. Finally, if you can't control the urge to put Marcel in a headlock - and let's be honest, how many of us could? - get him off camera. As much as the grown-up part of me was watching Cliff pin him to the ground and thinking, "Hmmm...this might not be such a great idea," the little kid part of me was cheering, "Shave His Head! Shave His Head!" just because he's soooooo impossibly annoying.

This is the first time I've considered the possibility that reality TV might be good for America...seeing things like this makes me realize that all of us have many more things we "Know For Sure" than we think we do.

What do you know for sure?

8 comments:

e.b. said...

Agreed. Elia had the most intriguing fabulous hair....

Sarakastic said...

I know never, EVER go up against the iron chef. I know there is a reason why Emeril is a little chubby. I know to always have snacks on hand when watching the food network so I am not tempted to try & make a desseret that uses both chocolate & frozen peas.

Sarakastic said...

I forgot a few important ones. Reality TV also taught me that within 5 minutes of being putting on an island or in a house with 10 other strangers, they will start to form alliances first thing. I also learned never to trust an alliance, but make as many as possible. It also taught me that it's fun to keep people that can't sing around if solely for mocking purposes. Thanks for the great question

Swishy said...

On No. 1 ... I KNOW! I just caught part of it, and I was like, whaaaa?

I can't do Top Chef. I need to be able to TASTE my food to tell if it's good!

Meg said...

I know that no matter how innocuous the subject matter (like a cooking contest), the fact that something is "reality TV" means that it will somehow be twisted to appeal to the very worst of human nature and behavior.

Amanda Brice said...

Ick ick ick! Chocolate and chicken livers?!

Excuse me while I go vomit now...(rather unfortunate, since I'd had such a lovely dinner tonight, too)

Anonymous said...

1. Tape wrapped adhesive-side out around your hand makes a semi-decent lint remover.

2. On a sultry summer day, keep a pair of underwear in the freezer for a cool afternoon pick-me-up.

Kari Lee Townsend said...

Gotta love reality TV.

But some of those dishes. Bleck!!