Friday, November 30, 2007

New Turf

We switched gyms. Our old fitness center (the one that featured Paula Deen's nutritional wisdom on the tv in the cardio room) wanted twelve gazillion dollars for us to renew, so we decided to forgo the fancy "club" with the spa we never used and the restaurant we never ate at, and jog ourselves over to "Joe's Gym," which charges something like thirty-nine cents a month.

Working out at Joe's Gym is rather like landing in an NFL retirement home--it's a giant open room filled with every type of old-school weight equipment imaginable, all being hefted and pushed and swung around by men who have no visible indent between their ears and their shoulders. Most days, I am the sole patron claiming estrogen as my dominant hormone; I've never once had to wait for the treadmill or the eliptical machine.

My favorite part about Joe's though, is the Zoomba class. I've never taken it, but wow does it make me happy. You see, the class is taught by a guy (possibly Joe?) who is somewhere in his 60s, I'd guess. Joining Joe are seven to ten other Italian men ranging in age from 40-70. Up goes the volume on the stereo, and Joe shows the boys how to shake their thang (thangs?) to remastered club tracks that range from Depeche Mode to Kool & The Gang. It's like watching Tony Soprano and his gang doing aerobics. (In my head, I call them Paulie, Silvio, and Vito).

Add to that the looming seven-foot presence of a former NBA All-Star's brother, and a guy who looks like the punching bag Mike Tyson trained on, and I feel like I'm in the six-degrees of separation hall of fame. Granted, it's the mob division, but hey, for thirty-nine cents a month, I'll take it.

I mean, how could Paula Deen compete with that?

14 comments:

Sarakastic said...

congrats on your savings of $11,000,000,000,000,009.61

L Sass said...

Heh--that gym sounds like good fodder for a writer!

Patti said...

i have always said those are the best gyms...and the stories you'll hear! a smell a book...

Barrie said...

I want to go to your gym! It has character! Or did I mean to say characters!

Alyssa Goodnight said...

LOL, Sarakastic!

That does sound like some gym! I bet your exercise time flies by and you don't even want to leave. Oh how I wish I could see that class...

Jane said...

Hey, are any of those italian men single??? I could come to a class in January...KIDDING... Seriously, Trish, finding a good reasonable gym is a good thing. My personal history of attendance is so poor that I would have no choice but to choose a very reasonable gym. Otherwise, I'd have nightmares about the big bucks I was spending on a place I never go :)

Angela said...

Now if they could just get Paula Deen, it would be perfect.

The Dream said...

What a great post! Having grown up in the Great State of Massachusetts, and the whole ethnic neighborhoods deal, this completely cracked me up!

Beck said...

I'm going to start commuting to YOUR gym - it'll be a bit of a drive, but it sounds WORTH it.

Kristen said...

Do you have any guest passes? I would LOVE to go just to see of all this in person. ;-) This post was HYSTERICAL. Thank you for a much-needed laugh this week!!

Roam2Rome said...

Ah, my nearby gym wants twelve gazillion dollars for me to join! Which explains why I dance around my living room :) Though I sure miss spinning classes!

Ewww, thanks for the mental image of those Italian men shaking their thang! Hehe..

heidikins said...

Hahahahaha!! This is fantastic. Love it!

xox

Jen A. Miller said...

Sounds like an essay to me... :-)

And I think you get a pass on not knowing about "Upcakes" because Dixie Picnic is new! But you can order a box online at dixiepicnic.com. Just sayin'....

LEstes65 said...

Isn't it amazing how often we pay for extras that we never used? You rock. And I'm glad you enjoy your total emersion into Testosterone Land.

So will I see a totally cut & buff you in January? HMMMM????