Monday, June 11, 2012
Resolved: No More Head Banging
I found this gem in my in-box this morning and thought, Wow, this should be carved in gold on a statue somewhere. It's kind of brilliant.
Nothing messes with my relaxation like banging my head against a wall someone else has built. It's horrible. Whether it was a guy who decided he just wasn't into me, a mentor who stopped supporting my work, or a governmental organization that is doing more harm than good, the walls are all pretty much the same: Once the mortar sets around the bricks, they're there to stay, and there's not much I can do with my skull to change that.
Of course I don't literally bang my head against these walls. (That would be easier.) Instead, the banging is, as they say, "all in my mind": I get lost in thought, going over and over how things should/could/must/absolutely have to change. I consider (& then discard) 1,001 possible ways I might make things better. Then I return to how things should/could/must/absolutely have to change, equipped with all this newfound proof that there's nothing I can do. It's a vicious cycle. And when it's over, my forehead is bloody, I'm all tense and upset, and not one single thing has gotten any better.
Here's what I've learned: There are always plenty of walls to bang my head against. Some of those walls are horrible and need to be knocked down. But when I was taught, "Use your head" to solve problems, I'm pretty sure all this senseless banging was not what the teachers had in mind.
The Bible isn't into head banging. It suggests prayer, and then this whole "wait & see, but in the meantime, get on with life" thing which is just... exasperating. I like to feel like I'm doing something to make things better, and when the waiting goes on too long, suddenly that head banging looks mighty productive.
Today, I'm going to fend off that urge. I'm going to relax, because I KNOW that when God wants me to do something, he will let me know. Until then, I will enjoy the things there are to enjoy, not wasting a perfectly nice forehead on a bunch of ugly walls.
Here's to pretty foreheads :)