Just as I'm not a fan of New Year's Eve, I've learned the hard way that devoting the first days of January to fresh resolutions of what I absolutely must do/be/accomplish in the coming year is a sure recipe to ensure I end up doing/being/accomplishing something altogether different. So for the most part, I don't bother. God and I had a nice chat on Sunday night where I mentioned a few things I might like to have happen, and he kindly agreed to take them under advisement. I'm fine leaving it at that.
But then I saw this post on Deb's site (doesn't she look great with that parrot?) about a website where you type in a wish and PRESTO! the site generates some important next steps to take in the coming year. Kind of like a life coach or a therapist, only private, quick, and free!
Wanting to be honest, I typed in one of the items from my chat with God - that Steve and I would like to add a new little member to our family this year, and move one step further up the adulthood ladder: having kept a dog alive for eleven years, I think I'm ready to care for person (and yes, I'm well aware that my prior success with crate training is not applicable to childcare, under either State or Federal standards) So I went to the "What should your new years resolutions be?" site, and when asked, what do you wish for in 2007? I typed in "a baby."
Here, apparently, are my KEY STEPS TO SUCCESS:
1. Get a pet monkey
2. Eat more hot dogs
3. Travel to Sweden
4. Study time travel
5. Get in shape with belly dancing
Based on this, I'm convinced this is a test to determine my fitness as a parent. But I'm not fooled! First of all, there's no way I'm getting a monkey. It will eat all the bananas, and potassium is very, very important for children (I may not know why, but I know it is!) Second, I can't possibly eat more hot dogs. They are the heated dinnertime version of bologna, my favorite food, and to eat more of them would push me over the edge of indulgence into the pit of gluttony. There's not much baby-making in that particular pit, so I'm choosing to avoid it :) Third, a trip to Sweden will do me no good at all, as this article clearly shows Europe is the land of falling birth rates. In Sweden, the article notes, fertility is linked to the economic earnings by the female, which means I'd not only have to travel to that cold, barren land, I'd have to get a job there. Um, no. I think Steve and I would do far better to schedule a trip to some tropical locale with fruity drinks... Forth, the time travel thing...really, am I supposed to take that seriously? I just read the book of Acts, where Jesus appears out of nowhere on several occasions and Philip engages in some airplane-free air travel. That will have to do. And finally, I refuse to belly dance on the grounds that it will mortify the children I hope to have. I understand that at a certain point, everything Steve and I do will embarrass them, but I see no need to take such clear steps toward making them right to be embarrassed.
So there you have it, I emerge resolution-free :) I think I'll go make myself a hot dog to celebrate!