Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Trish's messed up dishes

My dishes are falling apart. You'd think that would only happen if we were using them on a consistent, demanding basis, churning out the tasty options from Rachel Ray and Paula Deen with some sort of regularity. That, unfortunately, is not the case. And yet my dishes all look like somebody punched them, with ugly cracks in the glaze that turn a appalling shade of brownish gray when subjected to the heat or chill of actual food. Apparently, Steve and I must have been shopping in the "for decorative use only" section of Crate & Barrel when we made this choice. Except that we weren't; I checked.

We've learned to live with this. We're not fancy people, and a healthy serving of pasta covers most of the cracks right up. But this morning, things took a turn for the worse. I poured that all-important first cup of coffee, only to see my beloved, precious liquid seep out from a crack in the side of the mug, leak across the counter, and spill onto the floor. THAT DOG licked it up; she's been pacing ever since.

There, in my morning haze, the only two lines I remember from law school contracts class surged to the top of my brain (excited to finally--finally!-- be put to use): "What about the implied warranty of merchantability? " I demanded. "And it's all-important sidekick, the implied warranty of fitness for a particular purpose?" Clearly, C&B should have known that I was buying these mugs to hold coffee, and it doesn't seem to be too much to ask that their product be up for the task.

(That's right, folks: ten years after such quick legal thinking might have been helpful, mine kicks in. That's $100,000 well spent, if you ask me.)

Of course, the mere fact that I've linked to Wikipedia to explain what these two warranties mean makes it rather clear that I'm unlikely to take legal action over my disappointing dishes. I'm not sure what I'll do, actually, other than swing by Target later today to buy a new coffee mug. (Gotta keep the basics covered before moving on to the bigger issues.)

I'd write more, but THAT DOG is jumping back and forth across my lap in a caffeinated frenzy. Thanks Crate & Barrel. The next time my young & exuberant niece and nephew come to visit, we'll be stopping by one of your showrooms to say hello. Count on it :)

18 comments:

Dawn said...

Trish,
I wish I didn't know as much as I do about implied warranty of merchantability! I also wish I could say more, but I can't. :)

Regarding your coffee mug, I am not a Starbucks fan at all -- but I LOVE their mugs. I have two. They hold about 20oz., and they are solid and have a nice glaze. My coffee (coffee purchased anymore but Starbucks) tastes better in these mugs, I am sure of it.

-Dawn
www.gripejuice.blogspot.com

heidikins.com said...

Hahahaha! Fantastic. Love this... and I am really trying hard not to laugh, but the idea of THAT DOG on a caffeine bender while you have a leaky coffee cup is just too much.

Happy Wednesday
xox

Barrie said...

I say, stop at Starbucks. Then visit C&B with your exuberant niece and nephew with THAT DOG! Very funny post!

Sarakastic said...

This reminds me of college, we had some plates similar to this (though not crate & barrel), which were saved for the eating of wheat blobs (flour pancakes my roommate made when we hadn't gone to the store in awhile) because it was just the principle of the thing, you shouldn't eat wheat blobs on nice dishes

Susie said...

Awww, that's no good. But I love when I get to use something I learned in school. Even if everyone just looks at me with blank stares as I get really excited about it.

I hope your dog's OK! :)

Beck said...

We have no matching dishes at all, and I am relieved to hear that it's because of product failure and not because we're rough on dishes. Phew!

1218Blog said...

Well that sucks! But good for you, fight for your right to have spill free coffee!

LEstes65 said...

That is really really annoying. I would actually expect that kind of quality from something I bought at Walmart or Target. But C&B, you'd hope you're getting something worth while.

I will find you a worthy mug down in TX when I go back home. And I'll mail it to you. I will refrain from the rooster mugs you know I want to send you.

Kimberly said...

Hi Trish! I had the same problem with C&B dishware (I had the Audrey pattern) and when I complained they replaced ALL of them for free, with a new, sturdier set - which I appreciated SO much. The problem is that some of their dishware is not meant to be microwaved or put in the dishwasher, but how can we possibly avoid doing that.

Larramie said...

Love the visual imagery in this post. And do hope THAT DOG can sleep tonight.

ramblin' girl said...

Dogs on caffeine... always entertaining, even if annoying!

L Sass said...

Oh no! I think your idea for revenge sounds awesome, though!!

Pascha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pascha said...

I LOVE YOUR REVENGE!!! Young ones in a Crate & Barrel showroom...that's ab-work out laughable. Regarding my deleted post...I just had a small type-o but didn't fix it right apparently. Anyway, nothing major was deleted.

halle said...

My Crate & Barrel dishes keep cracking too! I registered for the Madison pattern specifically because they are dishwasher and microwave safe. About 30% of the dishes arrived broken as we received wedding gifts in the mail. Crate & Barrel replaced those at no charge. Now, 5 months after our wedding, we have 3 more cracked dishes! So frustrating. I guess I find comfort in knowing we're not the only ones who have had problems w/ Crate & Barrel dishes. My advice to anyone about to register for wedding gifts: avoid Crate & Barrel dishes!

Mary said...

FYI, I've had discussions with the lovely folks at C&B on Brattle St. - they insist that they will "take anything back at any point if you have any problem." (Or at least that's what they told me two years ago.) Good luck!

Erin said...

Hi,
It's true, C&B will take back your dishes, and exchange them. I just exchanged my Margo dishes, the whole twelve, five peice, place settings, and they exchanged them, no problem. Mine had flatware scars on them, even the finest flatwear would scar the dish, even the mugs. After 4 years there were a lot of scars, thankfully just on the dishes;)

Annisa said...

I went to C&B to talk to them about this very problem with my Audrey dishes and they told me there was nothing they could do for me