Relax is a verb!

(Yesterday, over at the Changing Seasons blog, I admitted that my project for June is to learn to relax.  If you haven't read that, click over and check it out so this post will make sense.  I'll wait right here 'til you come back!)

Last night when I went to bed, I was a bundle of tension.  I felt like an uncooked noodle, where too much pressure in any direction would cause me to snap right in half. It was awful.  I tried breathing, focusing on happy thoughts (have you noticed how at night when your head is spinning with stress, happy thoughts just FLEE???)  Finally, I climbed out of bed, grabbed my Bible and my Kindle, and headed downstairs.

Lest you get the wrong impression, I didn't plan to read the Bible.  In moments like this when I'm exhausted & frustrated, I like to have it with me, even as I refuse to open it.  It's as if I'm telling God, "I need Your help but I'm too upset right now to sort through all those pages to find it, so proximity will have to do..."

I opened my Kindle, and felt compelled to read from a book about, well, praying. It has prayers for each day of the month. Do just one, God said.  It will help.  So I did.  Most of my tension was worry about the safety of someone I love. My frustration was from the circumstances surrounding her...how people in positions of authority are making choices I'm afraid will cause her harm.  As I prayed that one prayer, God opened my perspective just a notch, showing me the role HE plays in her life.  He created her, has a good plan for her...and my prayers can be part of helping her stay connected to Him (whereas my worry accomplishes exactly nothing at all). It was a tiny bit of amazing. I was able to see a glimmer of hope, whereas before I'd just seen black.

I'm a If some is good, more is better! kind of girl, so I spent the next hour praying through every single prayer in that book. And in that time, I relaxed.  My noodle was finally cooked.  I went upstairs, thanked God, and fell asleep.  It was glorious.

My first lesson in Project Relaxation?  Sometimes to relax, you need to DO SOMETHING.  (There's a metaphor here somewhere about adding water & turning up the heat, but I'm not quick enough to find it right now.  I guess I'm too relaxed ;) )