Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Of Bears and Bullseyes

I just got back from Target. I went in with a list of approximately thirty-seven things I needed, and came out with a bottle of dishwashing liquid. Now, it's been a long time since I spent only $1.22 while visiting the Big Red Bullseye, so I probably shouldn't complain. But at the same time, I'm not sure the few ounces of Palmolive were worth the dash through the rainy parking lot (especially once I got home and realized that we use Dawn to wash our dishes).

Anyway...on a happier note...

We're going on vacation! We're venturing into the woods of Maine, further north than I've ever been. My sister just sent me a warning about bear sightings - how you need to wear bells to fend them off and not get eaten. (Target didn't have any bells, but I guess I could squirt the bears with Palmolive...) I'm not too worried about it, though. I spent the winter taking singing lessons from a friend who is a trained soprano. Sometime around week three, she kind of gave up. She stopped charging me, and made a point of singing extra loud so I wouldn't hear myself and get discouraged. So next week, if we see a bear, I'll just belt out a few lines of "You Are The Wind Beneath My Wings," which should be enough to create a nice little zone of safety around us. As a matter of fact, I bet that's what they used to do in the olden days! :)

(If I was savvy enough to categorize my posts, I'd totally call this one "wildlife management.")

14 comments:

Stacy said...

I think Palmolive is a very clever way to get rid of bears. By the way, I've given you the Rockin' Girl Blogger award. I didn't know about your Palmolive skills at the time, but I think I knew instinctively that you know mysterious things, hidden things.

Virginia, like the state! said...

I always forget...bears can climb trees, right? Doesn't seem fair. Maybe Palmolive is the way to go!

L Sass said...

Ooh, sounds quite like the adventurous vacation, what with savage wild animals and untrained singing and all! I'm jealous.

Kari Lee Townsend said...

wow, sounds like a lot of adventure and fun. Though I'd stear clear of the bears.

Sarakastic said...

What did they ever do to fend off bears before Bette Midler?

LEstes65 said...

You are seriously out of your mind. Which is why I love you.

Angela said...

Sounds like you have your safety plan already figured out. Now that's some smart vacationing.

Jenny Rough said...

Have fun! I think I've mentioned in your comments before how I've always wanted to visit Maine, bears and all. Maybe this fall...

Swishy said...

Vacations are the BEST! (So I've heard ... ha.) You'll have a great time!

Em said...

"olden days" is just a great phrase, first of all!! Singing "Wind beneath my wings" is enough to scare off any wildlife no matter how well, ...or not, you sing. I'm sure you weren't that bad!!!!...but it's a funny story anyway:) hahaha

Have a great time in Maine!

appletini said...

If you see a bear make sure that you sing with your arms way up in the air.... I hear that if you make your self look bigger, it scares the bears away ;)

Have fun on your trip!

JenKneeBee said...

oooh... maine. i'm a bit jealous. i've always wanted to go. please be careful with the bears as I'd really like you to come back and finish your book so i can read it :)

Julie Carobini said...

Or maybe you should crack two sticks together, like in the Parent Trap ;)

I want to go to Maine...!

Meg said...

Maybe instead you should sing Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'", just like in the Sopranos finale...and when you get cut off abruptly, it will be watercooler talk all over the country with people wondering how you really ended. :)