I'm not so good with goodbyes. I'd forgotten this about myself. It's been a long time since I've relocated...not since I landed here in Cambridge nine years ago hoping life would somehow get better. It did! But now I'm leaving, which means goodbyes.
The reality of this hit me like a train yesterday. As most of you know, a few years back I wandered into a church where I saw my whole life turn around. Yesterday was my last Sunday as a member there, and let's just say I was unprepared.
Yikes, it was the full-on ugly cry. I have a cold which didn't help, but most of the liquid was the product of a sudden, slightly paralyzing awareness of how much this place and these people mean to me, and how much I'll miss them. I think I've watched one too many episodes of Friday Night Lights, as my mind did one of those montage flashbacks to every important and poignant moment from the past seven years, blinking them through my head one by one. By the end, it's a miracle I could breathe :)
And yet it was an amazingly happy day, in the midst of all those tears. (Maybe that's the difference when you leave to go to something, rather than just run away?) My friend Dave gave an inspiring talk about how Easter doesn't mark the end of Lent so much as the beginning of something new and altogether different, where miracles are really possible. My friends Christopher and Kristina sang songs about hope and possibility that had me up on my feet and clapping, even as I blew my nose (I'll never say I'm uncoordinated again, because this was an amazing feat of multitasking). And right in the middle, a surprise I never saw coming: My friends (and favorite band), Ryanhood climbed onstage to sing the title song from their new CD, The World Awaits.
I was dumbstruck, jaw on the floor, tears running down my face...It was like God sent Ryan and Cameron from Denver or Minneapolis or wherever their last tour stop was just to let me know that even though I'm sad to be leaving, this is absolutely the right thing to do; that Steve and I are going to something good and exciting, and we won't lose what we have here...we'll build on it.
I found this clip on YouTube that you should check out. Listen carefully to the first thing Cameron says as he introduces the song; it sums it up pretty well:
"You're in your house. You have a front door. And you have to go through it."
The World Awaits.
I just need to mop up my face first :)