Around this time every year, I post my "I Love Autumn" blog. I can't help it. This time of year feels like an extended birthday party to me--all my favorite colors on the leaves outside, I get to pull out cute jeans & sweaters after months spent trying to hide some body part or another from the public eye, the urge to walk briskly down the street because this time of year is when new things start and I don't want to be late... Love it.
I really dig new beginnings, truth be told. My parents have a basement full of furniture and high quality hand-me-downs they've been saving for most of my adulthood, waiting for me to land somewhere permanent (like a house with more than 900 square feet). I've been at this grownup thing for awhile now, and it doesn't look like my life is going to be of the "4 bedroom colonial on 3 acres where they lived for 25 years" variety. And on days like today, when new things are starting and I'm excited about it all, I'm okay with that.
I've been thinking a lot lately about how life doesn't turn out the way we think it will. Or for some folks (and I'm thinking of the big brother character in Jonathan Tropper's novels: super jock in college, marries the prettiest cheerleader, goes into the family business...and then wakes up sometime in his mid-30s to realize he hates his life) everything turns out exactly as planned, only it feels unsatisfying. What do we do with this?
I have to admit that I kind of dig the adventure of things changing every few years, so long as the people in my life are constant. I can handle a high degree of circumstantial uncertainty around jobs and living spaces so long as I'm connected with people. In all my ups and downs, I've seen how human connection builds a safety net underneath you, so that no matter how fast you might be falling, you won't crash. It's terrifying when it's you in the free-fall, but when it catches you, it's an amazing thing to behold. And now I feel like a more seasoned trapeze artist, I guess: what we're trying is still pretty risky, but I have confidence that even if I mess up, something will catch me.
How do you deal with life not turning out the way you expected? Do you like it that way, or does it freak you out?