Anti-Boredom Month starts tomorrow!

I was late to the party for the International Year of the Potato, and almost missed International Sushi Day due to lack of focus. But for once, I'm right on time for an important moment in human history, where we focus our energies for a month on the worldwide problem of boredom. THIS is a movement I can get behind 100%.

I was notified of this important event in an email from Alex Fayle. His thoughts on this are so great, I thought I'd just copy them here to pass along the inspiration:

"July is Anti-Boredom Month and I want to know: Are you bored? Does life not thrill you? Do you wake up each morning excited to start your day, or do you drag yourself out of bed hoping that maybe something different will happen?

A great song from the 1990s, Being Boring, says "We were never feeling bored because we were never being boring."

Yes, that's right - boredom is a totally self-inflicted problem. If you're bored, it's because you're being boring. If your life isn't going the way you want it to, then you are choosing a life that's not as thrilling as it could be. In his book Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert talks about how even people whose life choices have been seriously limited by health issues call themselves happier than average because they are out there pursuing their dreams.

They're not bored because they are not being boring.

So, what are you doing to not be boring? I don't mean, what are you reading or thinking or talking about - I mean what are you doing?

If you're not doing anything then I suggest you brush off your dreams, take a good look at them and if necessary, get some help to put some excitement back in your life.

Because honestly, we're not here long enough to put up with being bored."

There you have it. Inspiring stuff, right? One morning recently when Steve and I were talking over some of the growing pains of moving to a new state to take new jobs, he said, "But you know what? Our days here are NEVER boring." We laughed together, knowing that we were on the right track.

Two things I've done recently to not be boring:

-Planned a trip back to Cambridge with a new friend to attend a cool conference.
-Admitted in public that I once cut all my sister's hair off.

Today, we'll see what happens to fend off the boring. But it's on the radar :)

How about you? What have/could you do to celebrate Anti Boredom Month?

Real Life, East of Eden

I didn't find the quintessential book on making it work "even after," but I found this article in the NYT implying that lots of couples do.

Not sure if this is happy news, or sad? I wish the article went deeper, explaining not just WHY betrayed spouses stay (children, finances, complications in disentangling lives) but HOW.

I'm 100% for making marriages work whenever possible. But I'd love to hear from the trenches how people are doing it.

(Random passing thought: has anyone read Elizabeth Edward's latest book? Does she talk about this?)

Thanks for your help with this, everyone! And to pay you back for all your recommendations...
I'm speed reading EAST OF EDEN by John Steinbeck for a talk I'm giving tomorrow. It's one of the best novels I've ever read (and one of the few about which I've ever agreed with Oprah). AND it has the added bonus of being a classic, so you can feel proud of yourself for reading it ;)

Book help!

I'm working on a tough section of my new book--it's about betrayal. Not between Steve and I (thank God) at least not in the way you think of with married couples cheating on each other. But I'm writing about watching it happen close-up, and how much it scares me, and the things I try to do to keep tempting demons at bay.

One of the things I do when I'm scared is I read. I love memoirs because I learn from these glimpses into other people's lives--things to try, things to avoid. In some cases (especially stories about normal folks, living relatively normal lives) it's like test driving strategies, seeing how they fit.

I've read a ton of books about marriage, more than I could ever list here. A fair number of these dealt with betrayal (the most recent being Isabel Gilles' HAPPENS EVERY DAY). Now, as I close out my chapter, I'm longing for a story of a couple who survived--the story of a husband and wife who stayed married, who pieced things back together and are back working toward their happily ever after.

Any suggestions?

Thanks!

Happy International Sushi Day!

It's International Sushi Day! When it comes to sushi, I long to be an honorary Asian. (I'd be totally willing to swap genealogies with someone hailing from Japan or Korea who longs to tip back a pint on St. Patrick's day...)

The first time I had sushi, it was a business lunch. I was a brand new attorney, anxious to look like I had my stuff together. I didn't, so this made for some stressful days. I gulped down California rolls and sashimi and a giant clump of fish eggs wrapped in seaweed. I was so proud of myself, this Irish girl from Maine (who'd never even had Chinese food until she was almost in high school), gamely using my chopsticks to stab bits of fish and rice and cheerfully choking them down. I have almost no recollection of what any of it tasted like going down, because I was so busy trying not to make a fool of myself. But I remember quite vividly what it tasted like coming back up...

I spent that whole afternoon throwing up: at the office, on the sidewalk, back at my apartment. When it was over I thought sushi was the toughest weight-loss plan I'd ever encountered.

Two days later I woke up in the middle of the night craving Nigiri Sake (a slice of raw salmon on rice) and I've loved it ever since. Bizarre, but true. I think the not throwing up afterward has a lot to do with it, along with putting an early end to my law career. My stomach couldn't handle both law and sushi, so a choice had to be made. I'm pretty happy with how that's turned out :)

Tonight: celebration sushi style!

Goings on about town...and a question

A new post over at the 40 Days blog, about taking in the big picture...

Stayed up until midnight last Friday so I could be www.facebook.com/trishryan ...

I'm tweeting like a bird (even though I should be soaring through manuscript revisions)...

Talking a lot, about some interesting things...

Just read two books I'd been given to review and HATED them. So disappointed. (And if you're an author and I have your book on my TBR pile, please don't worry, I can guarantee it's not you...I'm pretty sure these two authors don't follow my blog). What should I do? Do I have to review and be honest, or can I just donate the books and move on?

What would Miss Manners say?

THAT DOG keeps begging to go outside so she can eat some wild animal's poop. Sorry girl, that's pretty much never gonna be okay...

Packing for vacation (at least in my mind)

Apologies for the silence. I've been posting every day over at the 40 Days blog, and moving huge chunks of my new manuscript around from one place to another...and then putting them all back where they started. And for a super-huge treat when I need a break, I catch a DVR'd episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Not exactly the stuff scintillating blog posts are made of.

Still, I missed you guys! I thought I'd drop by to share a glimpse of the pile of books I'm excited to read when I come up again for air. We're going back to Lake Moose next month for vacation, and I'm already stocking up, planning to bring a suitcase full of books, a bathing suit, and a tube of sunscreen. My version of traveling light.

Here's what's in the pile:

Julie Buxbaum's THE OPPOSITE OF LOVE, now out in paperback!!! I have wanted to read this for SO long I can't even tell you (both Manic Mom and Swishy raved about it when I saw them in Chicago last summer, but life was just too crazy then and I wanted to read it when I'd have time to really take it in)

Jen Lancaster's PRETTY IN PLAID. I adore Jen, love her writing, and I spent my teen years in the same decade of bizarre fashion options as that she writes about here. She went for argyle and alligator shirts, I went for giant hoop earrings and ripped I-wanna-be-Madonna t-shirts. But deep inside, I longed for a shirt with an open-mouthed reptile on the front. I may buy an extra copy in case I laugh so hard that I drop the book in the lake (which is what happened when I read SUCH A PRETTY FAT ...)

Julie Klam's PLEASE EXCUSE MY DAUGHTER. Her mother took her out of school to go shopping...need I say more?! It's the childhood I wish I had (see: deep longing for open-mouth reptile shirt, above)

Mary F. Pol's ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE. She's from Maine!!! I read snippets of the hardcover edition right before we moved, and loved her style and the funny, honest way she shares the unexpected path her life has taken. Can't wait to read the whole thing.

What's in your to-be-read-this-summer bag?

It ain't quite like that

Here's a great blog post about how authors wish the publishing process worked. For the record, my parents believe it works this way too, and look at me with genuine perplexity when I try to explain that no, my editor doesn't mind if I spend the afternoon watching back episodes of The Real Housewives of NYC/Orange County/NJ on my "lunch hour" (and might even encourage it if at some later point I write something funny about their romantic escapades).

On a completely unrelated note: I'm visiting my sister now, and before leaving for school this morning, my niece said "I don't want you to go home today, Aunt Trish...all the fun will go with you!"

Love that child. Time to get on a plane before she realizes I'm only fun in 36 hour increments :)

Day One: Ready to Go?

As some of you know, there's a chapter in my book called "40 Days of Faith," which tells the story of an experiment my church ran in the first year I went there, where we prayed and asked God for something that really mattered to us (something we couldn't pull off on our own) every day for 40 days. I prayed for a husband. The results weren't immediate, but let's just say that when the answer finally arrived, I was quite pleased with the results :)

Last year when my book came out, a bunch of us here online did this experiment together. I created a special blog, and we spent June and a bit of July talking about how to involve God in the deepest desires of our heart. It was a spectacular experience, and I knew when it was over that this was something I'd like to repeat.

Today's the day! June is back, and over at www.fortydaysoffaith.blogspot.com we're kicking off another spiritual adventure. Come by, check it out...and if you have a dream (or five) that seems out of reach, join us.

For me, June feels like the "official" start of summer...I'm excited to have something fun like this to do to celebrate :)

I can be pretty in plaid!

I received a mysterious email today from Manic Mom. It said "Go. To. My. Blog...That is all :)" Being the obedient girl that I am, I hopped right over, to see that not only had I won a signed copy of Jen Lancaster's new book, PRETTY IN PLAID, but Manic (who is so BFF with Jen that she's listed on the book's acknowledgment page) filmed the drawing to post on YouTube:



Jen is EXCEEDINGLY gracious and displays a real knack for rolling with the punches in this video, especially in the place where Manic said, "You know Trish Ryan..." and Jen goes along and said, "Oh sure! I know Trish Ryan!"

Here's the truth: Manic introduced Jen and I last year at a book conference. I was one of approximately 1,000 adoring fans, but because I'm a friend of Manic (FOM) I went with her to the front of the line and got to meet Jen personally...for approximately 22 seconds...before we moved out of the way of her hoards of other adoring fans.

But if she ever comes to Ithaca for an event, I'll be her local Manic Mom :)

THANK YOU Jen, THANK YOU Manic...I can't wait until my book arrives! In the meantime, I'm heading to the mall to find a pink sweater to toss over my favorite yellow t-shirt...LOVE THAT!

Trish is in need of some dish(es)

If I eat one more plate of grilled chicken with a side of broccoli, I think I just might scream.

I'm in a total dinner rut. It's gotten so bad that I'm tempted to cook up the Tater Tot Casserole recipe I found in the book by the family with 18 kids (I'm oddly enamored with them, but I don't think I'd fit in my jeans next week if left alone with a pan of tater tots baked with cheese and cream of mushroom soup...)

Can you help? If you have a favorite recipe that doesn't involve eggplant or scallops (0r tater tots), could you PLEASE post it in the comments below?

Thanks in advance. Until then, I'm off to grill more chicken...

In the Spirit of Adventure...

For those of you who dig spiritual things, here's a link to a new post on this year's 40 Days of Faith blog. We'll be starting again on June 1st, so if you feel like giving it a try, leave a comment here or over there. The more the merrier :)

In other, equally exciting news, the new season of So You Think You Can Dance starts tomorrow night!!! Now admittedly, I'll watch almost any reality show on TV so long as the participants aren't eating vipers or dangling over the Grand Canyon in a thong. But SYTYCD is the one that makes DVR a vital part of my budget (because no matter where I live, I always have some sort of class or talk that night).

I can't wait!!! I'm moving the coffee table out of the way now, just to be ready!

Addendum: I just checked my DVR at lunch and realized that SYTYCD premiered last week! How did that happen? I'm mortified to have missed it. Sliding my coffee table back into place in shame...

THAT DOG v. Oprah

The only one in our little family more excited than me to see the latest edition of O Magazine land in our mailbox was THAT DOG. While I was ogling the adorable puppies on the cover and looking forward to wonderful tales of love and joy penned by fellow canine fanatics, THAT DOG was calculating how this nice thick issue would give her just enough height, when piled upon our several back issues of Mens' Journal, to reach the depths of the bathroom wastebasket and pull out all the used tissue goodness lurking therein.

But having a size advantage on the pup (not to mention opposible thumbs) I got the magazine first. I flipped it open, while THAT DOG stared at me impatiently. You can imagine my dismay when the first thing I read was a heartbreaking, dismal essay by a woman who moved to my same new city, with a dog approximately THAT DOG's age...immediately after which said dog died.

Aaaaaaaack!

It was horrid. Awful. And yes, I know all about the seasons of life and that sooner or later, all pets go off to meet at that great country farm in the sky...but I don't really want to read about it happening here, to a dog like mine.

So if anyone has a birdcage that needs fresh pages to line it, I have a magazine ready to go. (I'll make it up to THAT DOG by leaving the wastebasket out where she can reach it on her own, with an extra tissue or two thrown in for good measure...)

A little of this, some of that...

Last night was Girls' Night: Friends, ice cream, wine, and the American Idol finale. I haven't watched this season, so it was interesting to come in at the end and see the final two. Our crowd was resoundingly in favor of Chris (LOVED the guitar & drums number...Simon was SO wrong...) with one vocal Adam fan keeping my living room full of non-voters from being completely one-sided. Both guys are pretty amazing, but I have to ask (for those of you more familiar with the Idol scene) WHAT WAS that last song they made them sing??? It was kind of ridiculous, totally written for a female vocalist, and way too high for either of them. I know that the one judge (WHO is she???) wrote it, but still, it was kind of a mean thing to do to those guys. Your thoughts?

In other news, I just found out that my author pic for book #2 has to be in by June 8th. Which means that if things don't go well with the new hair stylist in my new town tomorrow morning, we'll be looking at me in that green sweater for two more years. (Please pray or send good thoughts as you're inclined...)

I just started THE LAST SUMMER (OF YOU AND ME). It's sunny outside, and I almost feel like I'm at the beach with the characters. Love that :)

Off to Edit. And...

(Okay, that title sounds more suggestive than I intended...)

I'm going into hiding this week, working on the revisions suggested by my editor for Book #2 and scanning every song lyric I can find for subtitle inspiration. And between chapters, I'll be watching this video. See the backup singer in the orange dress? My goal is to perfect her shimmy: arm waves, the occasional kick ball change, funky wiggle during the chorus...love it. Every girl needs a good disco shimmy, and this is the one I want!

Needed: bins & a labelmaker for inside my head

Do you compartmentalize? My head is swimming, and I could use some tips.

There are 101 things are swirling around in my mind vying for attention, and I'm having trouble pinning any one of them down for more than four minutes to make progress. My manuscript for book #2 is coming back for revisions, I'm working on a proposal for book #3, and in two hours I have a radio interview about book #1 (that I'm so terrified I'll forget to call in for that I've postponed all errands until this afternoon.) I have two fun talks to write, and five books to read that I think might give me wise and pithy things to say in those talks.... And yet here I sit in a heap of things that need to be done--things I'm actually excited about doing--not sure where to start. (I'd try the "eat the biggest frog first" approach, if I could size up the different frogs...)

In the middle of this, I'm staring at an amazing quote I copied into my journal back in November by Robert McKee:

"We stretch toward the bests and worsts because story--when it is art--is not about the middle ground of human experience."

So true! But how do we go after that when so much of real life is middle ground? Can I simply skip getting a NY driver's license or taking my dog for this year's round of shots? What about the towels that have been sitting in the dryer since Monday night? At some point, the middle ground needs some attention, too.

Maybe I need Julie Morganstern?

How do you manage the ups, downs, & middle ground of your human experience? How do you put the 100 other things on hold so you can focus on the one? How do you pick which one?

Destiny's Child?

When I dropped him off at work today, Steve said to me, half-joking, "GO TO YOUR DESTINY!" It's a running thing we have from the Olympic runners who were twin brothers and used to say that to each other every morning before they went out to train. Usually, it's inspiring.

Except today. Because right after Steve said, "GO TO YOUR DESTINY!" we both realized that my next stop was Target, to buy toilet bowl scrubbies.

So here I sit at 9:42 am, my destiny achieved.

There you have it.

An actual Big Thought

I'm reposting because what I wrote below is vague, shallow, and silly and really, who cares? Here's what really stopped me in my tracks in Texas:

We threw a giant outdoor festival for the survivors of Galveston. They've been through two storms that essentially wrecked the island, and we wanted to help and encourage them. Part of my job was to stand on a chair with a bullhorn and tell the incoming folks what they'd find inside. Three things made them look like they wanted to mow me down so they wouldn't miss out: Free haircuts (because who has money for that when you've lost everything?), free family portraits (these folks had lost all their pictures), and a small gold ticket for free groceries. I didn't know whether to cry or throw up, the need was so great, and what I could offer so small. All I could do was smile, try to convey some love and encouragement, and run through my mandatory shpiel as fast as possible.

A friend who was in the prayer tent told me about one woman he met who was hoping God might help her husband get off of drugs...but this was the THIRD thing on her list, after a safe place to live and a job.

I asked a fellow Vineyarder, the wife of our national director, "When does this stop breaking your heart?" "It doesn't," she said, hugging me. "That's the gift of compassion." Here's the thing, though: I don't have the gift of compassion. But what I saw there rammed through all my defenses and made me want to do whatever I could to help these folks. And sometimes the best you can do is run through your shpiel as fast as possible, and then pray for miracles as the crowds stream by.

Big thoughts from a big state

So sorry to have disappeared for a week. I know that violates the cardinal rule of blogging. And it was a week full of bloggable moments, so it broke my heart a little to have no internet connection in the conference center and an iPhone that didn't want to play nice with Blogger.

In a nutshell, the conference was awesome. It was a morning, noon & night kind of event (I'm not sure my blogs would have been coherent had I posted) and I'll likely spend the better part of this week processing it all.

There were great reminders about how easy it is to get off track from what we're called to do with our lives by the urge we all have to please the people around us. So today, I'm thinking about how to resist that without becoming one of those weird creative types who thinks the world is out to get them.

I saw an VERY gifted public speaker who challenged me to raise my game when I speak--when you're really prepared, I realize, you can connect with the audience at a whole different level.

And I met some folks who have been pursuing big dreams for years, and realized that pursuing big dreams is challenging. I tend to forget that. But if something is easy, it probably isn't worth dedicating a whole life to, right?

So that's what I'm mulling over today, now that I'm back in NY with the hawks, our neighbor's pony, and the chickens down the road.

More tomorrow :)

No snakes on the plane (or at the hotel, or in the conference center...)

We're flying to Galveston, Texas this morning for the Vineyard National Conference. I'm excited! I dig getting together with folks from all over the country who like to talk about God and the cool things that can happen when we pray instead of freaking out. As someone with a propensity to freak out, these kind of get-togethers are good for me.

(Especially since I just did a Google search for a picture of Texas to put with this post and found, in addition to the usual "don't mess with Texas" logo, a photo of a guy holding a terrifyingly gigantic Texas rattlesnake. NOT what I was looking for. Granted, it was on the Urban Legands website, but their version of "disproving" it was to say that the perspective of the photo might be off, and that the snake might be "only" seven feet long, rather than nine. LIKE THAT MATTERS!!! I'm already fighting off queasiness because the plane we're taking out of Ithaca is so tiny it has the word "Dash" in the title; I hadn't even thought about snakes. Esh. Note to self: Don't freak out. Pray....)

I'll be twittering from the conference. If you're curious about life down South (or this Northerner's take on it) you can follow along at www.twitter.com/trishryan.

All week, I've had the song "Deep in the Heart of Texas" going through my head, despite the fact that Galveston isn't in the heart of Texas at all. There must be another Texas song, right? Anybody have one? (It will give me something brave to hum on the plane...)