Tuesday, September 26, 2006

What really happened to TV Guide Girl, and my apologies to St. Louis

First - an update on the disappearance of my awesome guest blogger from last week, TV Guide Girl (who was here just long enough to post a contest I didn't know I'd be having, offering prizes I apparently still need to think up):

The reason you didn't see more of her witty take on live and love last weekend is because, among other low-level catastrophes that hit her house while I was away, her giant beast of a dog (who looks like this, only bigger) was attacked and bitten by a deranged skunk. Now I'm not entirely sure what is up with the wildlife population of TVGG's small town, but this was a skunk so lacking a basic understanding of the food chain that its defensive response to 100 pounds of canine lunging toward it was not, "I should SPRAY it!" but rather, "I should EAT it!" So it took several chunks out of TVGG's beloved pup, which required consultation with the local sheriff, the state police, the game warden, the emergency vet, the regular vet, and possibility of a home visit from PETA to ensure that the skunk wasn't hurt or left in an emotionally vulnerable state.

In the skunk's defense, it is not the first creature to look at this dog and think, "There's some extra meat on there...he probably won't even miss it..."

TVGG will be back soon to titillate you with more tales from her version of Little House In The Big Woods. Until then, please join me in wishing her and her husband a happy anniversary -Apparently, the official gift for 12 years of marriage is a case of tomato juice in which to immerse your smelly dog :)

Second - I intended no ill-will toward the city of St. Louis in my last post! Light-rail public transport and bedless hotel suites notwithstanding, I had a GREAT time there and hope to return next fall. Yes, I'm someone who doesn't love heights (you can imagine what a great gymnast this made me in High School) and if I'm going to sleep on a couch for three nights, I'd like it to be in the livingroom of someone I know. But that's a personal thing, certainly not grounds for disparaging an entire city. It's not you, St. Louis, it's me...

I'll post some of the gems I picked up at the conference I attended later, but for now, suffice to say that one of the highlights was dinner at a fabulous tapas restaurant with a blogger who looks like this. That I still love her is a true testament to her character and personality :)

6 comments:

Stacy said...

Trish, you are absolutely hilarious. I'm torn between concern for the poor doggie (do skunks get rabies?) and complete amusement.

Amusement is winning this battle.

Trish Ryan said...

According to each of the consulted experts, the doggie will be just fine. He was up on all his shots, had a series of boosters yesterday, and is milking this for all it's worth, spending long hours on the couch being reassured of his wonderfulness :)

Swishy said...

HA! She does not! But it's a nice thought :)

Hmm. Can anyone guess who this mysterious blogger might have been??

Anonymous said...

Hey Trish-
I saw you commented on my blog, so I thought I'd look you up. That's so great about your book deal, and I wish you huge, mega, overwhelming success with it!
Sorry you missed the Arch in St. Louis, although that tiny little elevator car is pretty freaky. . .
Alyson

Alyssa Goodnight said...

You crack me up, Trish!
I'm living vicariously through you as I push through Fast Draft and other writing deadlines.

Trish Ryan said...

Omigosh, Alyson - I never even thought about how they might transport people up into the arch! No wonder the metrolink doesn't seem like such a big deal to the natives!!!